A True Aussie Experience

“Be careful a spider doesn’t crawl up the toilet!”

“Don’t put your hands under the table!”

“If they bite you, you only have three minutes to live!”

“You can hear them rustling through the bushes they’re so big!”

“My mate has a pet cockatoo, he freed him from a web!”

I’m not a fan of spiders. I’m not at phobia level, but I’d rather not see them, you know what I mean? So when I told people I was coming to Australia, this was all I heard. Worst of all was that the last one came from my dad who has actually lived up in Queensland for a few years!

But this isn’t my first trip to this crazy country and I didn’t see any gigantic, bird-eating spiders the first time so I thought I was pretty safe this time and that the whole thing was exaggerated.

I think we all know where this is going, don’t we? I had my first hairy spider encounter.

So my dad and I went for a drive up to Omeo from Lakes Entrance where we’re staying. Omeo is a cute little village, it’s in the mountains of the Alpine National Park so it’s totally my cup of tea with cuckoo clocks, ski hire, snow (just not this time of year) and old-style buildings.

Who could resist a photo of these cutesy motel?!
Who could resist a photo of these cutesy motel?!

I’m not used to this heat (even if it is in “chilly” Victoria) so I’m constantly bursting for the loo after all my extra liquids. We’ve stopped at a lot of “rest stops” with their creepy, dark toilets and none of it has bothered me. I like to think I’m pretty brave for a little blonde sometimes!

So we stopped at another and, thinking nothing of it, raced (so much water!) to the single, dirty looking cubicle in the middle of, well, nowhere. Sorry Omeo.

Luckily I had the bright idea of kicking up the toilet seat before plonking myself on it. I’m not entirely naiive!

Now, I expected a whopper being left for me, just not of this kind.

All I saw were legs scattering in all directions. The bang of the toilet seat must have scared them senseless! Unfortunately, seeing that many legs at once scared me senseless too! All but two ran down the toilet which was really just a hole in the ground.

He's huge for European standards, okay?!
He’s huge for European standards, okay?!

Anyway, you’ll be happy to know I did about 60% of my pee until one moved and then I simply legged it out of the cubicle as fast as my TWO little legs could carry me.

So peeps, please, please, please, make sure you always check the toilet first and without using your hands.

Talk about a true Aussie experience. A dunny in the wilderness and spiders. Everything I could’ve wanted!

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